The Necktie
by bickeringgibberish
Summary: He never knew a simple, measly, red tie could create a complicated mess. [NatsuMikan] [ONESHOT]


**Summary: He never knew a simple, measly, red tie could create a complicated mess. **

**A/N: So while I was in bed mulling over things, I came up with a plot! Actually this plot has been in my mind for months but I was just so lazy to type. Cheers to all of you who are enjoying vacation just like me! **

**-O-**

She lost him.

The moment Mizono Yui came back from United Kingdom with a huge smile on her face and a charismatic aura, she knew she lost him. She lost him when he threw his arms around her and enveloped her into a tight hug. She lost him when warmth appeared in his cold crimson eyes. She lost him when he guided her towards them.

She knew she lost him.

But the thing about Sakura Mikan is that she refused to acknowledge the fact that she already lost him—she is fighting a lost battle and she couldn't accept it and would _absolutely_ not accept it. Imai Hotaru had been brutally honest about the situation (she even referred Mikan to a Psychiatrist) and also Nogi Ruka (gentler than Hotaru's honesty) who both want her to just get over him and find someone else.

_There's tons of fish in the water, he's just one fish! He's not the only guy!_

_He's my prince…_

_Oh, fuck that childish belief of yours!_

She met him when she was ten, still wearing her pigtails and short skirts. Her mother paid a visit to the Hyuuga's once they arrived in Tokyo. Kaoru adoringly presented Natsume, together with Aoi and Ruka to Mikan. She smiled brightly, immediately became friends with Ruka (who she called Ruka-pyon) and Aoi who simply worshipped Mikan. Natsume never talked to her during the visit, he simply ignored her and kept to himself in his room with his manga. Of course, being a friendly person Mikan decided to pester the hell out of him only to receive a cold, hard glare that chilled her to the bones and made her cower in fear. She never went near Natsume during the visit.

Eventually, she managed to get under his skin and annoy him once in a while. (She successfully did it after he teased her about her underwear) they became friends, in her opinion and she liked it. she fell in love with him the first time she saw him and she doesn't want to let go.

Until she found out about Yui, Natsume's first love, according to both Ruka and Aoi. She is his best friend, and he has been in love with her since they were four. She couldn't compete with that. Luck was on her side anyways. When they reached twelve, Yui's parents decided to live in United Kingdom and planned not to come back anymore. Natsume became crestfallen but then she took the opportunity to be closer to him.

And now, Yui is back.

Her competitor. She never asked Natsume about Yui but she knows deep down that he is still in love with her and it breaks her heart. Yui is beautiful in every sense of the word: flaming red hair that reaches her shoulder, bright green eyes that sparkle at almost anything and a million dollar smile—how on earth can she compete with her? She frowned as she pondered about her appearance. She is only 5'4, ordinary looking with brown doe-like eyes and a bright smile—she isn't that smart, not that attractive and she can feel the insecurities eat her. It is horrifying.

Natsume is talking to her, eyes so alive, his smiles reaching his ears. She couldn't bear to look at him—he is drifting away and she can't do anything about it. It hurts, but what else can she do?

And now, she could feel all her insecurities claw through her—she is losing him, slowly and painfully.

**-O-**

"Believe me Mikan. Natsume will never wear _that_," Ruka pointed to the box sitting on Mikan's desk. Gingerly, Mikan took the box and examined the pretty tie inside the box with seriousness.

"Ruka, the saleslady told me that the material used in this necktie is one of the best, and besides it's even red! His favorite color."

Ruka sighed and sat himself on her couch; his blue eyes found her brown ones, "Natsume never wears a tie. Surely you know that."

"Well," She defended, "I just think that it's about time that he should wear one! He needs to look professional."

"He does not need a tie to look professional. He hates ties—_loathes_ them. He will not like that as a birthday gift."

Mikan opened her mouth to argue but then he cut her off, "Listen, if you're going to give a tie to Natsume just because you think you can change him or his ways, _please_ Mikan. _Fucking_ please I am begging you not to give him one. You will just embarrass yourself."

She idly ran her finger along the box, "But what if I can? What if—"

"Mikan." He spat, "Only Yui can do that to him. No one else. So stop. Stop. You'll end up hurting yourself."

"Why can she do it while I can't, anyways?" She asked, "Why can she control him—why can't I?"

"Yui and Natsume were best of friends before you came. No one can replace her. God damn it! Natsume is in love with her! Do I really have to spell that out for you? Ho—Imai and I have been trying to get that through your head! Why don't you just listen?"

She sighed and shut her eyes. This is reality and she has been ignoring it. Why is she so stupid? Why is she so stubborn to accept the fact that he isn't hers and never will be? Why did she have to love him—love Natsume? Why him of all the guys? Why didn't she love Ruka? Why does it have to be him? And why does it have to be so painful? Sixteen years! She has been in love with him for sixteen years! She tried to impress him, to make him smile and laugh, to make him socialize to other people, to make him love her and yet—nothing happened. She is still the same polka-dotted-panties girl he met the first time—an acquaintance, a friend but never the best. It is so unfair. To love someone within reach but never have that love reciprocated. It is painful. She couldn't bear it.

"Mikan?" Ruka's voice called out, she felt him move towards her, and one of his hands reached her arm and settled there. She smiled and looked at him. "I—I am sorry, I shouldn't have—"

"It's alright." She murmured, "It's a good thing that you're the one who said this—I couldn't bear it if Hota—" She cringed, but then Ruka understood so he laughed, and she laughed with him.

**-O-**

"No." He stated flatly, crimson eyes narrowing into slits as he stared menacingly at the red tie sitting on his desk. Mikan had been pestering him since seven o' clock. She wants him to wear a tie. Can you believe that? Of all people, Mikan should know that he doesn't like ties—he hates them. He actually wants to burn every single tie he sees in stores. Mikan continued to whine about the tie, about how much it costs, about how she looked for the perfect one, about how she practically pleaded a woman who was about to buy it, which he knows is a lie.

"Come on, Natsume. Just this night, please!" She begged, giving him her famous puppy eyes. Natsume hissed and shook her away. He walked towards his mirror and inspected his reflection, Mikan still followed him and he sighed.

"I told you, '_no_.' and that is final. I am not going to wear a fucking tie!"

She pouted, "You're twenty seven! You at least need to look professional."

"No one gives a damn whether I wear a tie or not. Give it up polka!" He is really getting irritated at this moment. Why is she insisting anyways? She is getting on his nerves and he doesn't like it. Not right now when he has a party to host, people to meet and business to deal with. There are more problems in this world and she chose to focus on a fucking, measly, red tie? Sometimes he couldn't just get her logic. She is so irritating and all he wants to do is to throw her out.

"Get out, I need to get ready."

"I will get out if you wear it." She offered, thinking that she is about to goad him into wearing it.

He glared at her, "I will not. Stick that into your mind!" He roughly grabbed her elbow and started yanking her out; he passed by his desk and grabbed the box.

"You are rude! Natsume come on! Ple—" They were interrupted by a knock on the door, a second later it was opened by Yui—dressed in a pink dress, her red hair in a messy bun, her green eyes shocked at the scene.

"It's not what you think it is." Natsume immediately said, "I was just—guiding her out."

She opened her mouth to protest, but he covered her mouth.

"See you later, Polka." And with that he shut the door on her face, the box falling on the carpeted floor.

"—for fuck's sake! You can't be serious!" She heard his outraged voice from the inside, "I am not going to wear that!"

Her stomach dropped, Yui handed him a necktie. And she knows what his answer will be. She heard them argue for a little more, she actually thought that he might decline—but another moment passed and she heard a triumphant laugh from Yui.

"Well? Wear it you idiot! You need to look presentable!"

**-O-**

"I lost." She heard Yui goad Natsume into wearing a tie—he fought a little but then conceded. That is her effect on him. He doesn't want to disappoint her so he took it. She shut her eyes, trying to calm down her heartbeat. She needs to calm down. She can't cry. Sumire will be furious if she ruins her make up. She can cry later. After a few moments she took slow and numb steps away from his office, Yui won. She can change him and she can't. She can charm him and she can't. Natsume cares about her—but he doesn't care about her. _This is your wake up call, Mikan_. Her mind chided sympathetically, _poor you. You should've listened to them._

_I know._

She couldn't see anything, everything is a blur as she took more weak steps towards the elevator—it was too much. Like a hard slap across her face. Twice.

_Get over it, polka_. Her mind told her, _I really don't want to see you hurting._

**-O-**

"I really am sorry for bothering you," Mikan said sheepishly, "it's just that my car broke—Koko borrowed it and—"

"You don't need to apologize, Miss Sakura. I was free and so I did as what Miss Imai bid me to do so." Tanaka-san, Hotaru's ever faithful driver and body guard though old, reassured her with a huge smile on his face, accentuating his laugh lines. She had known Tanaka-san since she was four. He is almost like her grandfather and he is fond of her too, just like Hotaru. "We will drop by Miss Imai's office, right?"

"I thought she has a meeting?" She glanced at her phone and opened a message, "Here's what she said: 'I will not be able to come with you. Meeting with the _shitty_ board of members regarding the expenses last June. I can't wait to use my new gun.'" She raised her eyebrows as Tanaka-san laughed.

"Well then, you're off to Mr. Nogi's office, I suppose?" Ruka's office is in Tokyo Hospital, other than being a doctor, he is also in charge of the activities in the Hospital, making him the president.

Mikan nodded absently, her eyes watching streetlight after streetlight fade away. She can still remember the night of Natsume's party when he wore Yui's gift, chest puffed out proudly, Yui in his arms as he hosted the night. Ruka gave her one of those 'I told you so' looks (She is still angry for Ruka really tried to rub it in) every time he gets a chance to do so. She left earlier than she expected—right before the gift giving, she bade good-bye to her friends (Yui included) gave Natsume one of her fleeting-awkward hugs without a word from him and cried all the way home as her driver watched her pitifully.

It was stupid. Goddamn it and everyone knows.

"May I know what business you have with Mr. Nogi?"

"I might plan his Christmas party this 20th."

"Isn't that way too early?"

"Most people will be out of town during Christmas week. I thought it'll be better if we keep things early in order not to contradict other people's schedule."

"You are really a bright woman, Miss Sakura!" He exclaimed as the car halted in front of the Hospital. Mikan was about to get out of the car when she dropped her purse. She reached down, shoving all the contents back inside until she noticed the box—the silly box containing the necktie. She glanced at her purse and rolled her eyes. She shouldn't have taken this purse. "Do you need help?"

She straightened up and held the box, "Actually Tanaka-san, I do not need help but you do—" his eyebrows furrowed, "you have no fashion sense at all! Dark blue dress shirt and neon green striped necktie? Gods! Here," she handed the box to him, he started saying that he did not need a tie, "I _insist_. Consider this as an early Christmas gift. If Sumire saw you in that—she'll go nuts! I must go. Good day." She shut the door behind her and entered the building.

"Mikan!" Ruka's voice echoed through the foyer of the Hospital he embraced her and guided her towards the elevator. "Hotaru's not coming today, right?" She didn't answer, she knows perfectly well that Hotaru text messaged him already. _They're even in the first name basis now, now that's an improvement!_ She thought smugly.

"You here to discuss about the ball, right?"

"I didn't know you'd want it to be a ball." She murmured.

"I thought it would be better if it's formal."

Mikan coughed, "Really Ruka—if you ask me, I'd rather attend a museum opening than attend a ball." She shuddered, "it gives me the creeps."

"Well, that's exactly why I invited you here!" He beamed, "you plan the party!"

In the next minutes they sat on his couch, in deep conversation about the motif, color, food, music, drinks and all the stuff you need to worry about parties. Mikan ignored the tea served by Ruka's secretary as she called her connections while Ruka sat there and listed the people he wants to invite. His cell phone's ring tone interrupted their silent meeting. He excused himself (even though Mikan could still hear them) and answered the phone.

"What? Oh—yeah. What do you mean? But—yes I know. Isn't he supposed to go with her-? Really, well, shit happens. Yeah I'll help you. I just don't kno—what? Yeah. Great. Bye." Ruka rolled his eyes with a frown. Mikan couldn't decipher the conversation between the two of them, she asked him about it.

"Oh, well, one of my friends—he owns several toy stores, you know, bears and cars and stuff," He smiled ruefully. "—date canceled on him. Pitiful, he actually rented the Bear Museum for their date."

Mikan's eyes lit up, "We have a bear museum? I thought only South Korea has that one?"

"Well… we have one too. I guess his father built one nearby. Now I have to be a good friend and find him a new date. What a waste."

Mikan bit her lip and watched Ruka mutter something under his breath. He is cursing his phone, probably looking for a girl to pair with that Shoujiro guy, Mikan couldn't help but feel sorry for Ruka. "If you want Ruka, I could go out with him."

She watched Ruka turn stiff right in front of her before turning around to face her, blue eyes sparkling like the stars—almost like Narumi and it freaks her out. He looked possessed.

"Really, Mikan? This is just great! I'll just call him—" She actually half thought that Ruka would turn down her proposal.

**-O-**

What possessed her to say yes to Ruka anyways? She shivered lightly as Sumire applied make up on her face. Oh, yeah. This is part of the moving on stage: find a rebound. Find someone to date. She heard Sumire mutter something about her skin tone which she ignored. She continued mulling over her decision, her brain says yes but her heart says no. She fidgeted. Her hands gripped the arm rests tightly turning her knuckles white.

"Nervous?"

She gave a sarcastic laugh, "Of course not! Here I am trembling and dreading this date—of course I am nervous!"

"You'll nail this one. Promise."

She snorted and opened her eyes, only to be hit by Sumire on the head, she instructed her to close her eyes again while she applies her eye shadow. "the last time I went out on a date was when we were in tenth grade. Oh, God. What am I gonna do? I might spoil it or something."

"Relax, you idiot." Sumire snapped, "All you have to do is smile, talk and—well, I guess that's all."

Mikan frowned, Sumire hit her again. "Do you think he's nice?"

"Yes, Anna, Nonoko, Misaki, Yui and I stalked him already with Hotaru's help."

Mikan's mouth dropped, "Nice to keep things private, Sumire! The heck, Maybe later we'll be followed by the paparazzi! Does the whole world know?"

"Just us. This is your first date, you have our support."

"I don't need your damned support!"

"Just shut your mouth and let me finish." She rolled her eyes at her reflection as Sumire's brush hit her eye.

**-O-**

"So, how did it go, little Mikan?" Yui asked with a playful smile, "Was he sweet?" Mikan blushed as she examined the neckties in display—she asked Yui to accompany her today in buying Christmas gifts(of course she bought Yui's gift already and also Natsume's). She didn't have time to buy gifts since Jiro and she have been visiting different places in the span of two weeks and some events are starting to get to her. It was sweet of him actually to bring her to different places just like a prince.

"Well Mikan? I'm waiting."

Mikan released a sigh, "Well, he's nice. Awful nice. I can't complain. Not at all." She smiled at Yui, "You know, I actually feel that I found my prince—"

"Without losing the glass slipper." Yui joked.

Mikan nodded, _yes_ _not the slipper but the necktie_. "The favorite place I think is the bear museum."

"Your first date?" Mikan nodded once again and continued with the story. "He bought me a new bear! Though I still named it Mr. bear."

"Ah, Ruka told me the story about Mr. Bear."

Mikan laughed at Yui. "That was so stupid of me. I often wonder how I lost that bear."

Yui smiled, pointing to a set of neckties, "Are you going to buy them neckties? I mean all of them?"

Mikan shook her head, "Ruka and Koko requested for neckties. They don't trust Sumire's judgment about ties."

Yui inspected some of the leather belts beside the neckties as one of the salesladies came to assist them. Mikan thanked the lady as she presented tie after tie.

"How about Natsume?"

"Already taken care of—and Tsubasa."

"Girls?"

"Done!" She turned to Yui and asked her what to get, she went to her and started pointing out some that she likes, "We should choose something that brings out their eyes."

"Depends on the shirt, honey."

"Yeah, but at least I'll get a blue and a brown for the two of them."

Yui made a disgusted look, "Not brown! Let's say tan!" Mikan agreed and asked the saleslady to find them one. She smiled to herself. She is finally done. She aimlessly walked around the store and saw the suits, one suit in particular caught her attention—a gray one. She ran her fingers along the collar and smiled, it wasn't too heavy. It wasn't too bright. It was perfect. Yui suddenly appeared beside her.

"Hmmm… I like the material. You should get this."

"I don't know his size." She said sheepishly.

"Nonsense!" Yui declared, calling out for an attendant, "I know too well that he'll be a medium."

Mikan smiled and let Yui take care of it, once they found the size the saleslady turned to her.

"I'd take the gray suit, please." Mikan nodded to the saleslady.

**-O-**

"I thought the suit was for me." Was the first sentence he let out once they settled in one of the booths. Mikan gave him a confused look and then finally, making sense of it all, gave him a surprised look. Natsume called her up and invited her to have lunch with him, and Mikan being Mikan agreed, since she does not want to disappoint him. The moment she snapped her phone shut, she thought about it—he didn't call for almost a month, and then he calls, says he wants to talk to her and catch up. It was weird. Hell weird.

"Oh," she smiled at him, "Yui told you then?" Of course, who else would tell him that one? She thought grimly. "You want a gray suit?"

"I don't have one. I assumed—"

The waiter came and handed them the menu, Natsume glared as he retreated, Mikan didn't laugh instead she gave him a look of annoyance.

"You didn't like my present? I have to pay Hotaru loads of money in order to get those pens!" She pouted, "I thought it will be cool you know—to talk to Yui even though she's far from you by just using that pen instead of a phone."

Natsume's eye twitched, "That's why they invented phones for communication," He said slowly. "It's stupid, and people will lose their respect towards a man who would talk to a crimson pen."

Mikan shrugged. Silence ensued.

"Who was the suit for?" He finally asked.

Mikan laughed and met his eyes, "Jiro."

"Ren Shoujiro?" He clarified, eyes narrowing. Ren is the one who is dating Mikan. His mouth tasted like bile and he could only see red. Mikan didn't seem to notice. "Are you aware that you have not been spending time with me?"

"You're busy and so am I."

"The difference is I am busy with work and you with a man." He snapped.

Mikan frowned at him, why is he even angry? Isn't he supposed to be happy that she found someone she likes and someone she wants to date? "I really don't think that's your business. Aren't you supposed to be happy for me? He is sweet, kind, adorable! He treats me well—this is the first time I felt special. Why are you angry?"

"He is a jerk."

Mikan's eyes narrowed, "You haven't met him yet!"

"I just know."

"You shouldn't judge him. Ruka and the others approve, especially Yui-"

"And you think that just because Yui approved, I will?"

Mikan pressed her lips together, "Well, yes I suppose. After all, you always agree with her."

"This is _fucking_ different." He gritted, "I don't want him for you."

"Well, I really don't want to grow up like old Mrs. Yuri." She said dryly. "Besides, you are not my father. You have no right to decide about who I am going to spend the rest of my life with."

He snorted, "You are even planning to get married to _him_? That—that _man_?"

"Well, yes! I don't see why not!" She stood up, eyes fierce. "I thought we're here to catch up, I just wasted my time. I'll see you around." She walked away from him. bBefore she could reach the door, Natsume called her name. She ignored him; he is acting like a five year old kid whose toy was taken! It is just outrageous and immature.

"Polka!" He grabbed her arm and spun her around, she saw his face contorted in anger and fury, "We are _not_ done yet."

"Oh I think we are! I decided the moment you threw me out of your office with the necktie!"

Natsume looked at her with confusion, the necktie? She decided using that measly red tie? The one he didn't wear?

_Oh but you wore Yui's didn't you?_ His mind sneered. And then he turned cold. This—this whole time, it was all about the tie? The tie—the freaking tie—he shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. Expect Mikan to do those things.

"You—" He shook his head, "that is the stupidest method I have ever encountered! You let that stupid tie decide?"

"Well—" Her eyes started to gleam because of tears, "—if I told you I love you that day, would you have reciprocated my feelings? Would you?"

Natsume fell silent.

"Would you have cared for me, the way you care for Yui?"

Still nothing.

"Would you have brought me to the bear museum? Bought me a new bear to replace Mr. Bear which you didn't replace?"

Silence.

"Would you have at least spent some time with me willingly? Would you have accompanied me while I shop?"

Silence.

"Would you have been kind enough to watch _a Walk to Remember_ with me, every Friday, like how Ruka does whenever he could?"

Silence.

"Would you have even said 'I love you too'?"

Still nothing. And it broke her heart, "I was right—they were right. But I was _too_ stupid and stubborn to accept it. I needed to move on. You wouldn't be able to say 'I love you too.' Because I know that you still love Yui. You never forgot about her. You never did. I was broken—I was torn apart. I never loved someone else, hoping one day you would realize that you love me. That I was the one there when she wasn't. That I was there to make you laugh when she is away. That I was there by your side, through good times and bad and that I was there—loving you. But no—no. people may change, time may pass—but still… the heart beats for the same one—and I—" She choked on her tears, "I can never change that."

"I—"

"I found my prince. And you have found yours. I now know that we are not meant to be—and never will be. It was stupid to have the necktie decide. I am a coward, but that was the only way to decide."

He shook his head, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It was bound to happen anyways." And with that she walked away.

He just could not believe that a simple, measly, red tie could do this.

He lost her now.

**-O-**

**A/N: I'm betting fifty bucks you thought they would end up together! Oh well, I need to keep things realistic. Not all love stories end up in happily ever after. It sucks doesn't it? How a simple thing can create a complicated mess. How reality slaps you like a bitch. And how the heart can never be changed—no matter what.**

**How was it anyways? Please leave a review! I will see you all soon! **


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